Defusing Conflict in the Library

Defusing Conflict in the Library 
Webinar, 1/23/2020
Carrie Rogers-Whitehead

We often are in a reactive situation more than a proactive one, which can create stress (increased adrenaline, cortisol, etc.)

Malcom Gladwell's new book "Talking to Strangers"
The Upside of  your Dark Side

Reframe your emotions.
Look for the positives of people who :
Anxiety can cause heightened perceptions causes.
Narcissism

Value all emotions.

Management stress is contagious. 

Stay present. Be curious. Ask open-ended questions. Focus on your body and breathe. 

Don't make it about myself. Return the question to the patron and make it about them.

Verbal Judo: Defending against crisis situations with words.
Book Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion

LEAPS
Listen
Empathize 
Ask
Paraphrase
Summarize

Mental forecasting: we're not very good at predicting what will happen.
Acknowledge that it might not feel good, but do it anyway.
Give options and consequences.

https://respons-ability.net

Other Books:
The Body Keeps Score
Out of Character: Surprising truths about the liar, cheat, sinner (and saint) lurking in all of us
The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage work (Gottmans have done a lot of research, can apply to relationships too)

Design your perfect 2020: How to create powerful goals and stick to them

Notes from a webinar by Michael Hyatt
Lifescore assessment online quiz

1. Get specific about what I want. 
Begin with the end in mind.  Keep it personally meaningful?  At the end of this year what do I want to have achieved? What will I regret not doing? What will matter most to me?
Address the 3 circles of life:
Circle of Being
Spiritual
Physical
Intellectual
Emotional
Circle of Relating
Marital
Parental
Social
Circle of Doing
Financial
Vocational
Avocational
Write down specific goals. 42% more likely to get them done.

Simple Step: Write a list of 7 to 10 goals I will pursue in the coming year.

2.  Concentrate my effort on just a few goals. 
When I write down 25 things I hope to accomplish, I just get overwhelmed.

Simple step: Get clear on 2 or 3 goals on which I'll focus for the first quarter of the year. 

3.  Aim for my discomfort zone.   The things I really care about are going to take more effort to attain. Three zones in Goal setting: Comfort zone, discomfort zone, delusional zone.  I want to be in the discomfort zone.

Simple Step: Make sure each of my goals is in the Discomfort Zone.

4.  Keep track of my progress.  Keep goals visible! Have a plan to view them daily, weekly, and monthly.  as the saying goes: Out of sight, out of mind.

Simple step: Decide how I will track my goals.  

5.  Enlist the support I need.  Only share my goals with those I believe are actively committed to helping me achieve them.  Avoid overload

Simple Step: Find a supportive community to pursue goals with. 

Eat that Frog

Eat that Frog

1.      Decide exactly what you want.

2.      Write it down.

3.      Set a deadline – set sub deadlines if necessary.

4.      Make a list of everything that you can think of that you are going to have to do to achieve your goal.

5.      Organize the list into a plan.

6.      Resolve to do something every single day that moves you toward your major goal.

**Resist the temptation to clear up small things first.

Develop a compulsion to closure

1.      I actually feel happier and more powerful when I start and a complete a task of any kind.

2.      I satisfy a deep subconscious need to bring finality to a job or project.

3.      The sense of completion or closure motivates me to start the next task or project and then persist toward final completion.

4.      This act of completion triggers the release of endorphins in my brain.

*When I am overwhelmed at starting a project try the salami slice or swiss cheese method slice – layout the task in detail and do just 1 slice.  Swiss cheese method: Work on a task for a specific amount of time, even just 5 to 10 minutes.

Do it now! Do it now!

Back to work! Back to work!

Self-discipline, self-master and self-control are the basic building blocks of character and high performance. 

Prepare the workspace.

1.      Put only what I need in front of me. 

2.      Everything else on the floor behind me.

3.      Carry myself as though I am an efficient, effective, high-performing personality.

4.      The cleaner and neater my work environment, the more positive, productive, and confident I feel.

*What one career accomplishment would have the greatest positive impact on my work life?

Develop a positive mental attitude.

1.      Optimists look for the good in every situation.

2.      Optimists always seek the valuable lesson in every setback or difficulty.

3.      Optimists always look for the solution to every problem.  Instead of blaming or complaining when things go wrong, they become action-oriented.

4.      Optimists think and talk continually about their goals.  Always look forward not backward.

*One of the best rules for dealing with technology is to just “leave it off.” 

**Leave your computer off until you have planned and organized your day!

Apply the Law of 3

*Three core tasks that I perform contain the most of the value that I contribute to the College at Brockport/Drake Memorial Library.  If I could do one thing on the list all day long, which 1 (2 then 3) would contribute the greatest value?

1.      Business/Career

2.      Family/Relationships

3.      Finances

4.      Health

5.      Personal/Spiritual

6.      Professional Development

7.      Social/Community

8.      Biggest Probs/Concerns

Library Liaison Meeting KSSPE

Meeting with Sheri Treadwell, KSSPE library coordinator
Tuesday, Dec. 10, 2019

Met the new director.
She says everything is going well.  At the start of each semester in the KSSPE faculty meeting, she shows them how to order books and materials. They are all good at entering the information themselves (and they are).

Hasn't had any problems with the new system.
Primarily uses the KSSPE research guide and the databases recommended there. 
Doesn't hear too much from the exercise science folks, but I have worked with them in their research methods classes.  They do order materials.
Teaches an online-only class in the summer, may need help with that in the future.  I tried to explain the new role that LD plays, but that was a bit confusing.  We'll address it next year.  I will continue to update her with anything KSSPE-related. 
Appreciates the course reserves very much. 

New Programs:

--Strength and conditioning concentration (undergraduate)
--Coaching concentration being added to the Master's program (I think) 
--New Master in Athletic Training (this has been approved and is at the state level) 

https://www.brockport.edu/academics/kinesiology/ 

Library Liaison meeting

I met with the coordinator for THE/MUS/IAC today.

They would like more streaming resources, plus digital copies of scores. (gave examples of percussion and brass and orchestra scores used recently)
Definitely uses JSTOR
World music is one of their biggest classes with 140 students. (online and in person)
Music appreciation will be starting in the spring 2020.  

Emailed her the sites for the LibGuides, which she knew about but needed a reminder for their addresses. 

Teaches music in the elementary class (only pedagogy one right now).
Beginning recorder and piano are taught there.