Defusing Conflict in
the Library
Webinar, 1/23/2020
Carrie Rogers-Whitehead
We often are in a reactive situation more than a proactive one, which can create stress (increased adrenaline, cortisol, etc.)
Malcom Gladwell's new book "Talking to Strangers"
The Upside of your Dark Side
Reframe your emotions.
Look for the positives of people who :
Anxiety can cause heightened perceptions causes.
Narcissism
Value all emotions.
Management stress is contagious.
Stay present. Be curious. Ask open-ended questions. Focus on your body and breathe.
Don't make it about myself. Return the question to the patron and make it about them.
Verbal Judo: Defending against crisis situations with words.
Book Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion
LEAPS
Listen
Empathize
Ask
Paraphrase
Summarize
Mental forecasting: we're not very good at predicting what will happen.
Acknowledge that it might not feel good, but do it anyway.
Give options and consequences.
https://respons-ability.net
Other Books:
The Body Keeps Score
Out of Character: Surprising truths about the liar, cheat, sinner (and saint) lurking in all of us
The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage work (Gottmans have done a lot of research, can apply to relationships too)
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